The Beer Frame

During my ascent to Domestic Deity, I have learned a great number of things.  Perhaps the greatest of these is that I discovered how much I LOVE the bowling alley!  The bowling alley always has had a certain je ne sais quoi-filled with wonderful characters, and -ah.. the smell of booze and cigarettes.  Little did I know this same place would be such a great spot for a family “afternoon out”. I always liked the bowling alley…but now, I am truly enamored with it.

Days can get long and even boring when it is just the kids and Dear Ol’ Domestic God Dad.  I have often found that the kids will hound me looking for something “to do”.  Of course cleaning up or their chores are quickly ruled out by my moppet roommates. My normal response to that rejection comes from the great baseball player and philosopher Yogi Berra, “You have a brother.  Go play with him.”  Sometimes this just is not enough and we all have to get out of the house and have some fun.  Little did I know that have some “fun” could apply to me, as well.

I had come across some free bowling game coupons recently and asked my sons if they would like to go bowling. Enthusiastically, they accepted my invitation.  Our local bowling alley is less than a mile away.  I had no idea just how lucky we were to have lanes this close to home.

Upon arrival, Colton, Little Rusty and I paid for our games and rented our shoes.  Rusty was in heaven “wearing someone elses’ shoes”.  Colton was excited to learn that bumpers could be enabled to prevent the dreaded gutter balls.  And I was surprised and thrilled to learn that the alley had afternoon drink specials from the waitress who came down to greet us at our lane. Holy balls-kids happy, Domestic God elated!

My kids could be gifted athletes–hell if I know from bowling, though.  All I know is that they weren’t fighting and I hadn’t spent much dough on this “field trip”.  The one thing that I definitely concluded is that not only is drinking condoned during bowling-it is encouraged.  Are you aware of the “Beer Frame”?  I wasn’t  until the parameters were shown on the score board. Apparently, the “Beer Frame” occurs when 2+ bowlers are bowling, and all but one person get a strike in the same frame.  The person who didn’t strike then buys beers for everyone that struck.

Let me tell you, with the bumpers up–Colton and I took Little Rusty in frour frames.  Of course, Colton is only 8–so I had his beers-and we had 2 for 1 games, so I let Rusty off the hook and had the cheap “on special beer”.  And is it just me; or does the bowling alley have especially large draft beers?  Needless to say, after our games, I needed to give the boys quarters for the video game arcade–because during the course of our family bowl “Moby Homemaker” had turned into “Dr. Inky”–actually, his evil cousin “Dr. Unk”.

After the quarters had run out–the good Doctor was still on a house call with me.  So, I proposed the next part of our “family fun day”-a super fun “nature” walk home!  Little Rusty asked if he would be able to “Ninja Pee” on our “hike”.  (He calls the practice of whipping out his ding dong and pissing wherever, “Ninja Peeing”)  Dr. Unk told him, of course!  So Ninja Peeing commenced behind our local Taco Bell.  Like I said, we are extremely fortunate to have the bowling alley so close to home!

Domestic Diety has shown me that I can have fun adventures with the boys.  In fact, we try to have one at the bowling alley every so often.  And now, we ‘ve added a new part to the field trip–an exciting ride in a real, live taxi!

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